Beauty Jokes

• Mattel has a campaign urging girls to pursue their limitless potential. It's called You Can Be Anything Except A Woman With Barbie's Body.




• The most beautiful makeup of a woman is passion. But cosmetics are easier to buy.

• Does your skin feel burnt? Because I think you must have just fallen down from heaven, and re-entry gave you a tan.

• Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you're CuTe

• Here's $10. Drink until I am really good looking, then come and talk to me.

• Me: Siri, why am I alone? Siri: *opens front facing camera*

• I know milk does a body good, but damn girl, how much have you been drinking?

• Are you a sheep cause your body is unbaaaaalievable

• Makeup tip: You're not in the circus.

• There are smart men, handsome men, rich men, sexy men and sweet men and then there is the combination of all. We call that one a "unicorn"

• Excuse me? Do you work at Little Ceasars? Cuz Ur Hot And I'm Ready.

• Girl, if you were a dinosaur, you'd be a Gorgeousaurus

• What's a nice ghoul like you doing in a crypt like this?

• I love the way you move...like butter on a bald monkey.

• Are you a singularity? Not only are you attractive, but the closer I get to you, the faster time seems to slip by.

• Your name must be Coca Cola, because you're so-da-licious

• If i had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.

• And in her smile I see something more beautiful than the stars.

• My dream woman has a special combination of inner and outer beauty and is, most importantly, too naive to know she's way out of my league.

• Are you made of beryllium, gold, and titanium? You must be because you are BeAuTi-ful.

• How can you be so sad when you are so beautiful?

• WHY GOD? WHY ONLY ME? WHY YOU ARE DOING THIS TO ME... Didn't we had a deal that I never get old :'(

• You were beautiful in my dreams, but a fucking nightmare in reality.

• To the 20 year old girl who wrote an essay claiming she is too pretty to be allowed to lead a normal life:Same.

• Time may be a great healer but it's also a lousy beautician.

• Do you love me because I am beautiful or I am I beautiful because you love me?

• I need more than 140 characters to tell you how beautiful you are.

• A beautiful girl looks good in the background of her smart friend.

• Currently the flower business is blooming.

• Shouldn't you be on top of the tree, Angel?

• You're so beautiful that last night you made me forget my pickup line.

• Beauty is only skin deep ...but ugly goes all the way to the bone!

• The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.

• You take away the looks, money, intelligence, charm and success and, really, there's no real difference between me and George Clooney.

• If I freeze, it's not a computer virus. I was just stunned by your beauty.

• A beautiful woman delights a man's eye, an ugly – woman's eye.

• You're so pretty, you could be in a beer commercial.

• When you want to marry a beautiful, a smart and a rich woman – marry three times.

• I tried eharmony. They kept matching me up with women who look like me in a wig. I'd be too intimidated to date someone that attractive.

• If I got a penny for everyone I've met who is as beautiful as you, I'd have all the money in the world.

• Babe, your cuter than a puppy at an animal shelter, Cuz i want to take you home!

• Behind every fat woman there is a beautiful woman. No seriously, your in the way.

• You must be an angel, because your texture mapping is so divine!

• Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?

• Darling, you are the most beautiful woman in this party! Did you invite these guests on purpose?

• Girl you're like a car accident, cause I just can't look away.

• Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.