Confucius Jokes

• Confucius say, "Man who run in front of car get tired."




• Confucius says, "War does not determine who's right. War determine who's left."

• Confucius says, "Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like bananas."

• Confucius says, "Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon burn out."

• Confucius says, "A constipated man does not give a crap."

• Confucius says, "Man who sit on tack get point!"

• Confucius says, "Man who farts in church sits in own pew."

• Confucius say, "Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok."

• Confucius says, "Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse."

• Confucius Says, "Man who pee's through screen door, only straining himself."

• Confucius says, "Man in glass house must change in basement."

• Confucius Say: "Kids are like Legos, lot of fun to make, but sooner or later, only end up messing up house."

• Confucius say, "Man who sit on toilet is high on pot."

• Confucius say, "Secretary not permanent fixture until screwed on top of desk."

• Confucius says, "Man who put wick into wrong candle . . . get burned."

• Confucius says, "Girl who sits on judges lap, get honorable discharge."

• Man who run in front of car, get tired.
  Man who run behind car, get exhausted.

• Confucius says, "Woman who cook carrots and peas in same pot, very unsanitary."

• Confucius says, "Man who stand on toilet is high on pot."

• Confucius says, "War doesn't determine who is right. War determines who is left."

• Confucius say, "Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it."

• Confucius say, "Man who eat many prunes get good run for money."

• Schoolboy who plays with schoolgirl during wrong period get caught red-handed.

• Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.

• Confucius say - Man who take woman on camping trip have naughty intent!

• "Man who drive like hell, bound to get there!"

• Confucius say Woman who make love in treehouse put ass out on limb.

• Confucius says, "He who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs."

• Confucius say, "Man who go through turnstile sideways, going to bang-cock."

• Confucius Says, "Man who make love on ground, have piece on Earth."

• Confucius say, "Baseball is wrong. Man with four balls cannot walk."

• Confucius say, man bobbing up and down in corn field is not planting grain.

• Confucius say, "Man who run behind car get exhausted."

• Confucius says, "Woman who spring on innerspring this spring have offspring next spring!"

• Confucius say, "Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails"

• Confucius say, "Foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man give wife upright organ."

• Confucius says, "Man who drops watch in toliet, bound to have shitty time."

• Confucius says, "Man with hand in pocket is feeling cocky all day."

• Confucius says, "6.9, another thing ruined by a period."

• Confucius says, "Panties not best thing on Earth, but next to best thing on Earth."

• Confucius says, "It is good to meet girl in park but better to park meat in girl."

• Confucius says, "Man who lives in glass house should change in basement."

• Confucius say, "Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house."

• Confucius say, "Passionate kiss like spiders web - soon lead to undoing of fly."

• Confucius say, "Virginity like bubble; One prick - all gone!"

• Confucius says baseball is wrong.
  
  Man with four balls cannot walk.

• Confucius Say - Man who make love to woman on hill, not on the level.

• Confucius says: Man who goes to bed with sex on mind wakes up with solution in hand

• Confucius say, "Man with one chopstick go hungry."

• Confucius says, "Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement."

• Confucius says it takes many nails to make a crib, but only one screw to fill it!

• Confucius say, "Man who sleep in cathouse by day, sleep in doghouse by night."

• Confucius says, "Man who sleeps on road, wakes up feeling run down."

• Confucius says, "Man with tool in woman's mouth is not necessarily a dentist."

• Q: What did the Buddhist say when he walked up to the hot dog vendor?
  
  A: Make me one with everything.

• Confucius says, "Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night."

• Confucius say: It is good for boy to
  meet girl in park, but better for boy
  to park meat in girl.

• Confucius says, "It takes many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it."