I wanted to lose 10 pounds this year. Only 13 to go.
You're so fat that your husband rolled over after sex, rolled over again and was STILL on top of you.
Yo Mama's so fat she took her chin as carry on
Yo Mama's so fat she throws up gravy
Yo Mama's so fat she plugged the hole in the ozone layer
Yo Mama's so fat it's not funny
Yo Mama's so fat she ate the milky way
Yo Mama's so fat she has to wear a wide load sign
Yo Mama's so fat that while she walking to Wal-Mart, she tripped over K-Mart, and landed on Target.
Yo Mama's so fat the army uses her panties for a parachute.
Yo Mama's so fat she makes godzilla loox like an action figure
Yo Mama's so fat she needs a wide load stiker on her butt
What do you call an afghan virgin
Mever bin laid onHow did Burger King get Diary Queen Pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his whopper.If a firefighters business can go up in smoke, and a plumbers business can go down the drain, can a hooker get layed off?
A New Zealander walking along the road with a sheep under each arm.
He meets another New Zealander who says "you sheerin' mate?" and the first guy replies "naw, they're all mine"Why does a squirrle swim on its back?
To keep its nuts dryWhat do you call a lesbian dinosaur
A lickalotopisA man is driving happily along when he is pulled over by the police. The copper approaches him and politely asks, "Have you been drinking, sir?"
"Why?" snorts the man. "Is there a fat bird in my car?"Why did God create black men? So fat white girls could dance (and get laid).
You have enough fat to make another human.
Yo Mama's like a fast food retaurant, she takes orders from the front and the back
Yo Mama's teeth are so spaced out it looks like her tongue is in jail
Your Momma is like Burger King "Have it Your Way"
Yo Mama's glasses are so thick she looks at a map and sees people waving.
Yo Mama's so loose it's like throwing a hotdog down a hallway
Yo Mama has touched more knobs then the gas man
Yo Mama's so fat that when God said "let there be light" he told your momma to move her fat ass out of the way
Yo Mama's so skinny she has to wipe her butt with dental floss
Yo Mama's so greasy that she has to use baccon as a bandaid
Yo momma's so fat she needs a VCR for a pager
Yo Momma so fat the back of her neck looks like a pack of hotdogs
Your mama's so fat that her belly button makes an echo
Yo momma's so fat her cerial bowl comes with a lifeguard
Yo momma so fat when she walks past window we lose four days of sun light
Yo momma's so fat she had to get baptised at sea world
Your momma's so fat when she fell over, she rocked herself to sleep tryin to get back up again
Your mammas so fat and stupid, when it was raining she used the freeway for a slip and slide
Yo momma's so fat that when the whales saw her they started singing "we are family"
Yo momma is so fat when she goes to a restaurant she has to be greased in and out of the boothes
Yo mamma's so fat she was attacked by japenese mlitary, they thought she was godzillas wife.
Yo mamma's so fat when she went on school feild trips the school had to raise fund to feed her.
Your momma's so fat she makes free willy look like a goldfish
Yo mama is so fat when I layed back on her stomach i rolled twce and I was still in the middle
A cucumber, an olive and a penis are talking.
The cucumber says "I hate my life, when I get big fat and juicy they cut me up and put me in salad."
The olive says "That's nothing, when I get big fat and juicy they cut me up and put me on pizza."
The penis says "You think you have it bad, when I get big fat and juicy they put me in a bag, throw me in a cave, shut the door and leave me there till I throw up"
A Christmas Poem
'Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat
The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat
The doors were all bolted, and the phone off the hook
It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook.
Momma in her teddy, and I in the nude. Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube
When out on the lawn there arose such a cry, That I lost my boner and poor momma went dry.
Up to the window I sprang like an elf, Tore back the shade while she played with herself.
The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built, Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer.
With a fat little driver, half out of his sled, A sock in his ear, and a bra on his head.
Sure as I'm speaking, he was as high as a kite.
And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right.
Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz, Either slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts.
Look out for the lamp post, and don't hit the tree, Quit shaking the sleigh, 'cause I gotta go pee.
They cleared the old lamp post, the tree got a rub, Just as Santa leaned out and threw up on my shrub.
And then from the roof we heard such a clatter, As each little reindeer now emptied its bladder.
I was donning my jacket to cover my ass, When down the chimney Santa came with a crash.
His suit was all smelly with perfume galore, He looked like a bum and he smelled like a whore.
That was some brothel, he said with a smile, The reindeer are pooped, I'll just stay here awhile.
He walked to the kitchen, himself poured a drink, Then whipped out his pecker and pissed in the sink.
I started to laugh, my wife smiled with glee, The old boy was hung nearly down to his knee.
Back in the den, Santa reached in his sack, But his toys were all gone, and some new things were packed.
The first thing he found was a pair of false tits, The next was a handgun with a penis that spits.
A box filled with condoms was Santa's next find, And a six pair of panties, the edible kind.
A bra without nipples, a penis extension, And several other things that I shouldn't even mention.
A cock ring, a G-string, and all types of oil, A dildo so long, it lay in a coil.
This suff ain't for kids, Mrs. Santa will shit, So I'll leave 'em here, and then I'll just split.
He filled every stocking and then took his leave, With one tiny butt plug tucked under his sleeve.
He sprang to his sleigh, but his feet were like lead, Thus he fell on his ass and broke wind instead.
In time he was seated, took the reins of his hitch, Take me home Rudolph, this night's been a bitch!
The sleigh was near gone when we heard Santa shout, The best thing about sex is that it never wears out!
Behind every fat woman there is a beautiful woman. No seriously, your in the way.
Why did God create gay men? So fat girls could dance.
‘Police?’ came the voice on the phone. ‘I want to report a burglar trapped in an fat maid’s bedroom!’ After ascertaining the address, the police sergeant asked who was calling.
‘This,’ cried the frantic voice, ‘is the burglar!’
Submitted by ravinder.
Your mamas so fat she cant even float in space
Yo momma is so fat she sat on walmart and lowered the prices.
Your Momma's so fat she can go on vacation by rolling over.
You momma so fat one time she threw up and out came pinnichio
Yo mama is so fat when she turns around its her birthday again
Yo mamma's so fat when she went to Tokyo everyone said its GODZILA!
Yo momma is so fat, she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook.
Your momma is so fat the elephant on her shirt is real!
Your momma is so fat when she stepped on a scale it said 1 person at a time please
Your mommas so fat she pooped out an actionfigure.
Yo Momma so fat she tripped over Wal-Mart and landed on Target
Yo mama so fat that when she walkes she shows up on the rictor scale.
Three guys are arrested in an adult book store and appear before the judge. He asks the first guy to stand:
"What is your name?" he asked.
"John," the guy answered.
"And why were you arrested?" the judge asked.
"I was by the magazine rack holding a big fat cigar and blowing smoke." he answered.
The judge didn't see anything wrong with that, so he dismissed the guy and called up the next one.
"What's your name?" he asked.
"John," the guy answered.
"Why were you arrested?" the Judge asked.
"I was by the magazine rack holding a big fat cigar and blowing smoke." he answered.
Again, the judge saw nothing offensive, 'This so-called adult store is begining to sound more like a smoking club!' he thought. So he dismissed the charge and called up the next guy.
"What's your name?? No wait, let me guess; John." he said.
"No," said the guy, "My name is Smoke."
I may be a cold hearted and a unloving bitch, but I'm damn good at it
How am I driving? Call 1800-KISS-MY-ASS
I'm not an alcholic
Alcoholics go to meetings
I am a drunkNO FAT CHICKS!
Dont laugh at my ride, your daughter may be in it!
Horn broke watch for finger
I'm not pshycotic, I cant read your mind.
Keep staring I might do a trick.
Chicks dig my ride.
I found Jesus... he was behind the coach the whole time.
I didn't sell my soal to satan...... but we did work out a rent to own deal.
Dyslexic satan worshipers think they're worshipping Santa.
I haven't been the same since that house fell on my sister.
Everyone has the right to be stupid but you abuse the privlige.
I smile because I have no Idea whats going on.
Guys: just because you have one, doesn't mean you have to be one.
STOP FOLLOWING ME, I don't know where I'm going
Your momma is so fat, I take her panties and I use it as the main sail of my yacht.
Yo mamma so fat, she got more rolls then a pastry truck!
Yo mamas so fat the back of her neck looks like a package of hotdogs
Yo moma is so fat.....fat is a complement!!!!!
Yo momma's so fat when she takes a shower her feet don't get wet!
Yo momma is so fat the cows try get milk from her
Yo momma's so fat she puts mayonaise on asprin.
Yo momma's so fat Her high school graduation picture was an aerial photograph.
Yo momma's so fat She could sell shade.
Yo your moma so fat,that she had to take her passport photo by satillite.
Yo your moma so fat that her belt size is the equater
Yo momma's so fat Her blood type is Ragu.
Yo momma's so fat When she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.
Yo momma's so fat She can't even jump to a conclusion.
Yo mama is so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Crage is the door
Yo momma is so fat last time she seen 90210 is on the scale
Your mommas like a brick she is flat on both sides and gets laid by Mexicans.
Your momma is so big when God said let there be light, he asked her to move.
Your mom is so fat, when she walks out of the candy store with a red turtle neck on people start yellin "Kool Aid".
Your mama so fat she uses the ocean as a bath tub
Your mama's so fat when she walked by a construction site they used her as a wrecking ball.
Your mama so fat when she sat on the toilet she said A B C D E F G get your fat ass of of me.
Yo Momma Soooooooo Fat...... A Car Crashed Into Her And She Said, "Who Threw That Rock?!"
Yo mamma so fat that I told her we won the Super Bowl So she walked outside with a spoon.
Yo mamas so fat I get lost around here
Your mamma is so fat I shot the bitch and lard came out.
Your momma is so fat she got in a monster truck and made it a lowrider!
Your momma so fat she tried to take a bath but the water jumped out!
Your momma is so fat that she went to the bathroom and the toilet got the shit scared out of it
Yo mamma so fat when she missed the school bus she yelled "some one catch my twinky"!
Yo momma is so fat that your dad and her were in bed and tried to kiss he'd have to slap her belly and ride the third wave up!
You'r mama's so fat, when she sit's around the house,"she sit's AROUND THE HOUSE"!!
There was this zebra who had lived her entire life in a zoo and was getting on a bit so the zoo keeper decided as a treat that she could spend her final years in bliss on a farm. The zebra was so excited, she got out of the horse float to see this huge space with green grass and hill and trees and all these strange animals. She saw a big fat weird looking brown thing and ran up to it all excited, "Hi! I'm a zebra, what are you?"
"I'm a cow" said the cow.
"Right, and what do you do?" asked the zebra.
"I make milk for the farmer" said the cow.
"Cool." The zebra then saw this funny looking little white thing and ran over to it. "Hi, I'm a zebra, what are you?"
"I'm a chicken," said the chicken.
"Oh, right, what do you do?" asked the zebra.
"I make eggs for the farmer." said the chicken.
"Right - o, great, see ya round." Then the zebra saw this very handsome beast that looked almost exactly like her without the stripes. She ran over to it and said, "Hi, I'm a zebra, what are you?"
"I am a Stallion," said the stallion.
"Wow," said the zebra. "What do you do?"
"Take off your pajamas darling, and I'll show you."
Every time someone calls me fat I get so depress I cut myself... a piece of cake.
You don't sweat much for a fat chick.
Missionary Impossible: When 2 fat people try to have sex.
Brain cells come and go but fat cells live forever.
Your momma is so fat, she climbed in the Grand Canyon and got stuck.
Yo moma's so fat the only time she sees 90210 is on the scale.
Yo mamma's so fat they could hold the olympics on her left butt cheek.
Yo mamma's so fat she jumped into the lake and the lake replied "I'll wait my turn."
Yo mamma's so fat she filled the bath, got in and all the water poured out.
Yo mamma's so fat that she became the center of the solar system.
Your Momma's so fat that when she jumped, she got stuck in mid-air
Yo mamma's so fat when she wore a red shirt all the kids yelled hey kool-aid
Yo mamma's so fat that when she sits around the house she sits around the house.
Yo mamma's so fat that when she steps on a scale it keeps going and going and going...........and going
Yo mama's so fat when she walked past by TV I missed three episodes
Yo mama's so fat when she steps on a scale it says I want you weight not your phone number
Yo mama's so fat that the last time she had sex it was at a crispy creme dount shop.
My ex-girlfriend told me nothing shocks her anymore so I switched her digital scale from Lbs to Kg.
There are 2 cowboys in the kitchen. Which one is the real cowboy?
The one on the range.Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat?
Cut off your head.A Horse goes into a bar and the bartender says
"Hey buddy, Why the Long Face"Q. Where do you find a one legged dog?
A. Where you left it.Q. What's pink and fluffy
A. Pink fluffQ. What's blue and fluffy
A. Pink fluff holding it's breathTwo muffins are in the oven.
One says to the other "God it's hot in here"
The other one replies "Oh no... It's a talking muffin"Yo mama's so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway!
Yo mama's so fat when her beeper goes off, people think she is backing up!
Yo mama's so fat people jog around her for exercise!
Yo mama's so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone!
Yo mama's so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors!
Yo mama's so fat she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the new world!
Yo mama's so fat she lays on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy!
Yo mama's so fat she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"
Yo mama's so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"
Yo mama's so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint roller!
Yo mama's so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets!
Yo mama's so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave., she landed on 12th!
Yo mama's so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too!
Yo mama's so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"!
Yo mama's so fat when she steps on a scale, it reads "one at a time, please"!
Yo mama's so fat she fell in love and broke it!
At the scale manufacturers’ convention, people often wanted to weigh themselves on different scales to see if they agreed. However, some visitors abstained, not wishing to advertise their weight. A smooth-talking representative coaxed a woman onto his scale by promising her that he would not look and that she could even cover the digital display so only she could see her weight.
She finally stood on the scale, whereupon a loud, mechanical voice from within the machine announced: “One hundred and sixty-three.”
Submitted by ajay.
My Otha Ride is YO MOMMA!
WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
A woman need a man like a fish needs a bicycle.
My son is inmate of the month!
I wish I was Barbie...That BITCH has everything!
It looks like you bought that car from Dollar General!
It's fun to cheat on a test but, not on people
Honk if you`ve never seen an uzi fired out the back of a car window.
No fat chicks...........I just got new tyres
P.E.T.A.- People. Eating Tasty Animals
Yo Mama's so fat slap her on the stomach and you can ride the waves
Yo Mama's so fat when she steps on a scale it say's I want your weight not your phone number
Yo Mama's so fat, she's the reason they invented double doors
Yo Mama's so fat she uses I-95 as a slip and slide.
Yo Mama's so fat she sat on a rainbow and made skittles
Yo Mama's so fat when she wore high heels she struck oil
Yo Mama's so fat she needs a lifeguard for her ceareal bowl
Yo Mama's so fat it took three years for her to get liposuction
Yo Mama's so fat she uses buoys for ear plugs
Yo Mama's so fat she killed the dinosaurs
Yo Mama's so fat she cant jump to conclusions
Yo Mama's so fat she uses windex for face cleaner
Yo Mama's so fat her genes dont fit her
Yo Mama's so fat if I put a firecracker up her ass, and it exploded she would be feeding kids in India for years
Your momma is so fat she changed the phrase "One Size Fits All" to "One Size Fits Most"!
Yo momma so fat that when I ran around her I got lost!
Yo momma so fat..she even carried a spoon to the SUPER BOWL
Your momma's so fat, once she jumped in the water, everone ran out yelling, "Tsunami!"
Your mommas so fat she plays pool with the planets.
Yo momma is so fat she sat down on the bench and her fart went off like a gun shot!
Your mammas so fat she sat on the toliet and the toliet said ABCDEFG GET YOUR FAT ASS OFF ME
Your mama is so fat her "nickname" is damn
Yo mommas so fat she took her pants to the dry cleaners and the lady said,"we don't do curtains".
Your mommas so fat she was wearing a yellow shirt and the kids thought she was a schoolbus
Your momma is so fat she had cream coming out her arms becuase she ate to many twinkes
Yo momma is just like a big mac...shes big, fat, and $1.69 on wednesdays!
Yo mamma is like a big mack, fat, juizy, and only worth a buck.
Yo momma is so fat her stretch marks spell out her name , " big bitch"
Yo mama's so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued!
Yo mama's so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!
Yo mama's so fat she's got her own area code!
Yo mama's so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagen!
Yo mama's so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!
Yo mama's so fat she uses entire trees to pick her teeth!
Yo mama's so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles!
Yo mama's so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl!
Yo mama's so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"!
Yo mama's so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!
Yo mama's so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks!
Yo mama's so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Car!
Yo mama's so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!
Yo mama's so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!
Yo mama's so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!
Yo mama's so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!
Yo mama's so fat that her senior pictures had to be aerial views!
Yo mama's so fat she's on both sides of the family!
Yo mama's so fat every time she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!
Yo mama's so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!
Yo mama's so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!
Yo mama's so fat that she cant tie her own shoes.
Yo mama's so fat sets off car alarms when she runs!
Yo mama's so fat she cant reach her back pocket!
I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
It was the night before christmas,
When all through the house,
Not a creature was stiring,
Not even a mouse,
With mom at the whore house,
And dad smoking grass,
I just settled down,
For a nice peace of ass,
When out on the lawn,
I heard such a clatter,
I sprung to my feet,
To see whats the matter,
When out on the lawn,
I saw a big dick,
I knew for a moment,
It must be saint nick,
He came down the chimney,
Like a bat out of hell,
I knew for a moment the fat fucker had fell,
He filled all our stockings,
With pretzels and beer,
And a big rubber dick,
For my brother the queer,
He rose up the chimney eith a thunderous fart,
The son of a bitch blew my chimney apart,
He swore and he cursed as he wrode out of sight,
And said piss on you all,
And have a hell of a good night.
How do you tell if a chick's too fat to f*ck? When you pull her pants down and her ass is still in them.
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
Man - Excuse me, want to dance?
Woman - No.
Man - Maybe you didn't hear me ... I said you look really fat in those pants!I love the way you move...like butter on a bald monkey.
Do you work for UPS? 'Cause I swear I saw you checking out my package!
You're ugly but you intrigue me.
No, I'm not a cop. What can I get for fifty bucks?
Man - Fat Penguin !
Woman - WHAT?
Man - I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good
Man - Do you like to dance?
Woman - Yes !
Man - Well then, could you go dance so I can talk to your friend?Your mama's so fat she had to iron her clothes on the 405 freeway!!!!!
Your momma is so fat, she uses a toilet brush to clean out her belly button!
Yo momma's so fat She can't even fit in the chat room.
Yo momma's so fat She put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
Yo momma's so fat All the restaurants in town have signs that say: "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Momma"
Yo momma's so fat When she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.
Yo mamma is so fat she takes showers at carwashes
Yo momma is so stupid when she hears thunder she thinks someone is making popcorn
Yo Mam's So Fat, She Went To Sizzler and the Bitch Got A group Discount
Your mommas so fat she has to use hula hoops to hold up her socks
Yo mamas so fat after sex she rolles over and smokes a ham
Yo mama so fat when she died they didn't use a casket they used a mansion.
Yo momma so fat i put a quarter in her mouth and pushed her belly button and milk dudes fill out of her ass
Yo mamma's got so many rolls she puts Brumby's out a business
Your momas so fat that when she got into an elevator the doors couldn't close!!
Q. What do you call two fat men having a chat?
A. A heavy discussion.Submitted by ajay.
10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk, But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk.
9. Our love will never become cold and hollow, Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.
8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store, In hopes that, later, you'd be my whore.
7. This feels so good, it feels so right, I just wish it wasn't $250 a night.
6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class, Especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat ass.
5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished, But now I'm fulfilled. . . SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!!
4. Through all the things that came to pass, Our love has grown. . . but so's your ass.
3. You're a honey. . . and you're a cutie, I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty".
2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny, So right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny!
1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister. You should check out the one that I gave to your sister!
Your mama is so fat she steps on a dollar bill and makes change
Yo momma so fat when i tryed to walk around her i got lost.
Your momma is so fat that when she puts on her red t-shirt she runs through brick walls yellin', "Kool-Aid!"
Yo mama so fat when she died and went to heaven lord asked where did my light go???
Your momma is so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck
Your momma's so fat , she uses Mexico as a tanning bed.
Yo momma's so fat when she sings theres a earthquake
your mamma is so fat when she stepped on a scale it said to be continued
Yo momma's so fat that she makes a sumo wresler look like an arexion.
Yo momma's so fat that when it rains she where's a yellow jacket and everyone yells taxi.
Yo mamma is so ugly and fat when she went out side the kids said run its a dinosour!!!
Yo momma's ass is so big that when she sits down she's three feet taller.
Your mama's so fat...that when god said let there be light...she moved!!!
Your mama's so fat when she stepped on a scale it read the air heads motto "Out Of Control"
Yo mumma so fat she got stopted at da airport for havin 200 punds of crack
Thursday, 3 March 2016
Fat Jokes
About Kannnadasan -
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