Dark People Jokes

• Why do niggers always have sex on their minds?Because they have pubes on their heads!




• In the metro an old lady apostrophizes a nigger who was sitting calm in a seat:In my country, the ladies stay on the sits, and young boys like you stay in their feet!In my country, Africa, the boys stay in the middle of the fire, and the ladies stay in the kettles, boiling.

• Q: Why do police dogs lick their balls? A: To get the taste of negro out of thier mouths

• What word starts with "N" and ends with "R" that you never want to call a black person?Neighbor.

• Q: Why dont blacks celebrate Thanksgiving?A: Because KFC isn't open on holidays.

• Q: Why Are black peoples hands and feet white? A: When God painted them he told them to assume the position

• What did God say when he made the first niggers? Oops! Burnt another one!

• How do you get a nigger out of a tree?Cut the rope.

• A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. "Oh, den I uses the last names."

• Q: What's long and hard on a blackman? A: The first grade.

• How do you stop a nigger from drowning?Take your foot off the back of his head.

• The black guy I was walking behind stopped, turned and asked "Are you following me?" "No", I said "You've got evolution all mixed up."

• What did the Alabama sherriff call the nigger who had been shot 15 times?Worst case of suicide he had ever seen.

• Q: What's the difference between white jews and black jews?A: Black jews sit at the back of the oven

• What's the difference between a black and a white fairytale?White begins, "once upon a time," black begins, "y'all motherfuckers ain't gonna believe dis shit!"

• What do you call four niggers, in a car, driving off a cliff? A waste. You could've fit two more in the trunk.

• How do you get the little black kids to stop jumping on the bed? Put Velcro on the ceiling. How do you get them down? Tell the Mexican kids it's a piñata.

• Why do niggers stink?So blind people can hate them too.

• There is 5 niggers in a Cadilac. They drive off the Grand Cannon. What is sad about this story?A Cadilac seats 6 niggers.

• What’s the difference between a nigger and a pizza?Pizza doesn’t scream in the roaster!

• Q: How do you start a riot in Mexico?A: You roll a penny

• A black family of four, hears about a magical river that can turn them white if they swim across so they go and the dad and mom swim across, and they come out white, the daughter jumps in and swims across and she turn white, so the son trys to swim but the current takes him and the little girl goes up to dad and says, ‘daddy daddy Philip just got taken by the current' and the dad says, "Oh, forget that nigger."

• Q: What are three things you can't give a black person? A: A black eye, a fat lip and a job.

• Why are niggers like sperm? Only 1 in a Million actually works

• What's black and white and rolls down the Boardwalk? A nigger and a seagull fighting over a French Fry.

• When is the only time you smile and wink at a nigger?When you are looking through the scope on your rifle.

• Q: Two black guys decide to jump off a building; who lands first? A: Who cares?

• What’s the difference between a nigger and a white man?As much as you see with your eyes!

• What are the 3 things you cannot give a black guy?A fat lip, a black eye, or a job.

• Q: Why Do Blacks Hate Country? A: Every time they here Ho-Down They think someone shot their sister

• Did you hear about the 9 year old African nigglet?He was going through a mid-life crisis.

• Q: Why are there more black folk then Indians? A: Because we haven't played Cowboys and Black folk yet!

• What does it mean when a nigger climbs up into a tree?A nigger less on the earth.But when two niggers climb up into a tree?Two niggers less on the earth.But when tree niggers climb up into a tree?The branch breaks!

• A Mexican and a nigger are riding in car.Who's driving? A cop!

• A nigger was walking in the jungle when he saw a sexy woman that was fighting for her life with a giant snake. The Nigger quickly jumps and kills the snake. The woman says to him:You saved me! I am I magic fairy and I can grand you any wish.I would like you to make me white and put me between your legs.Then, the fairy made him into cotton wall tampon...

• Q: What do you call a black drinking out of the toilet?A: Pushing his luck.

• What does a nigress and an ice hockey player have in common? They both change their pads after 3 periods

• Q: Why was the black baby crying?A: He had diarrhea so he thought he was melting

• What do you call a nigger with a peg leg?Shit on a stick!

• What does it mean when you see a bunch of black men running in one direction? "A Jail break"

• What does Pontiac stand for?Poor Old Nigger Thinks It's A Cadillac!

• What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk?"I set WHO free?"

• In Africa, in a hospital, a black man entered armed – he had a knife on him – stick in his back!

• Q: How do you hide something from a Black Man? A: Put it in a book.

• Q: What does NAACP stand for? A: National Association of Apes Called People

• Q: Why does California have so many destructive earthquakes and Alabama has black people?A: California got first pick.

• Q: Whats the difference between a black guy and a pothole? A: You swerve around the pothole.

• Q: How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: It's too dark to count.

• What do you call a black guy selling drugs?A pharmacist.

• What’s the difference between a nigger and a car tire?The tire doesn’t sing when you put it chains!

• Q: What is it called when a black women is in labour? A: Constipation

• A black boy walks into the kitchen where his mother is baking and accidentally pulls the flour over onto his head. He turns to his mother and says, “Look Mama, I’m a white boy!” His mother smacks him and says, “Go tell your Daddy what you just said!” The boy finds his father and says, “Look Daddy, I’m a white boy!” His Daddy bends him over, spanks him, stands the boy back up, and says, “Now, what do you have to say for yourself?” The boy replies, “I’ve only been a white boy for five minutes and I already hate you black people!”

• What’s the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead black person in the road?There’s skid marks in front of the skunk.

• A large cruise ship strikes an iceberg and slowly begins to sink. The captain declares he is going to need to remove some weight from the boat or it will surely sink. He says to be fair, and not discriminate, we will have to call out people in alphabetical order to jump off the ship. Everyone agrees this is the only fair way.The captain then declares "All African Americans, jump overboard!"A niglet tells his dad"Oh noes, dat be us". His nigger dad says "No sons, dats not be quiet"The captain comes back and says "unfortunately, we haven't lost enough weight yet. I will have to ask all black people to jump overboard."The niglet tells his dad again"Oh noes, dat be us". His nigger dad says "No sons, dats not be quiet"The captain comes back and says "unfortunately, we still haven't lost enough weight yet. I will have to ask all colored people to jump overboard."The niglet tells his dad again"Oh noes, dat be us". His nigger dad says "I said shut up son, we be niggers today!"

• "Life is like a box of chocolates."Not all the black ones can be trusted.

• Q: What would martin luther king be if he was white? A: Alive

• Why were so many niggers killed in the Vietnam war??because when the sergeant said to "get down", they all got up and started dancing.

• What do you get when you cross a retard with a gang banger?Someone who spray paints on a chain link fence.

• What happens when you stick your hand in a jar of jelly beans?The black ones steal your watch and rings.

• Why do niggers carry shit in their wallet? Identification.

• What’s the difference between a pigeon and a nigger?The pigeon is white and the nigger can’t fly!

• Q: Why are all black people fast? A: Because the slow ones are in jail.

• A black guy walks into a bar with a beautiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" "Africa," says the parrot.

• Q: Why do blacks walk the way they do?A: Because they spent the first 9 months of their lives dodging a coat hanger.

• What's long and hard on a black guy?Third grade.

• Q: What do you call a black guy who goes to college? A: A Basketball player.

• A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub.She says "Show me it's true what they say about black men".So he stabs her and takes her purse.

• How do you know Adam and Eve were not black?You ever try to take a rib from a nigger?

• Q: Why dont blacks celibrate thanksgiving? A: KFC isnt open on holidays.

• Q: What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your tv starts to float? A: You turn on the lights and shoot the black people.

• A Black man bought a round of drinks for everyone in the bar, announcing that his wife had just given birth to "a typical black baby boy weighing 20 pounds." Congratulations showered him from all around, and many exclamations of "Wow!" were heard. A woman fainted due to sympathy pains. Two weeks later, he returned to the bar. The bartender said, "Say, you're the proud father of an amazing black baby who weighed 20 pounds at birth. How much does he weigh now?" The proud father answered, "Fifteen pounds." The bartender was puzzled. "Why? What happened? He weighed 20 pounds at birth?"The father drank the bottle of whisky at one go, wiped his lips on his shirtsleeve, leaned into the bartender and said, "Had him circumcised."

• Q: What do you call a white man in the ghetto? A: A victim.

• A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy."When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. The Black woman said, "Oh, den I uses the last names."

• What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead nigger in the road?The dead dog has skid marks in front of it.

• A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, “Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?” The dad replies, “Why do you want to know, son?”“Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!”

• Q: Why cant stevie wonder read? A: Cuz hes black

• Q: How do you start a black parade? A: Roll a 40 down the street.

• Why are niggers like sperm?Only 1 in a Million actually works.

• Why do black people lean to the center of their car? "They think the smell is coming from the outside."

• A Jamaican man bought a round of drinks for everyone in the bar, announcing that his wife had just given birth to "a typical Jamaican baby boy weighing 20 pounds." Congratulations showered him from all around, and many exclamations of "Wow!" were heard. A woman fainted due to sympathy pains. Two weeks later, he returned to the bar. The bartender said, "Say, you're the father of the Jamaican baby who weighed 20 pounds at birth. How much does he weigh now?" The proud father answered, "Fifteen pounds." The bartender was puzzled. "Why? What happened? He weighed 20 pounds at birth?" The Jamaican father took a slow sip from his Red Stripe beer, wiped his lips on his shirtsleeve, leaned into the bartender and said, "Had him circumcised."

• I like black people . . .. . I used to have some black friends 'till my dad sold them!

• A Mexican and a nigger are riding in car. Who's driving? A cop!

• Q: What do you call vietnamese guy that wants to be black? A: Vinegar!

• Q: Why are blacks afried of lawnmovers? A: Beacuse it gose run nigger nigger run nigger nigger

• Why did the little black boy start crying when he had diarrhea?He thought he was melting.

• How do you stop a nigger from drowning? Take your foot off his head.

• Q: What is long and black?A: An unemployment line

• What do you call one black on the moon? Problem. What do you call ten blacks on the moon? Problems. What do you call the entire black population on the moon? Problem solved.

• Black preacher is driving home from church and sees the white preacher walking down the road. He reluctantly pulls over to offer him a ride. A short distance along the way the whit guy says " you people don't actually think Jesus was black do you?" "And what makes think he's not?" The black pastor snaps back. The conversation becomes so heated less than needed attention was paid to the road and both men died in a trgic head on collision. When st. Peter opened the pearly gates to heaven before them, there stood Jesus Christ himself. He spread his arms slowly in a welcoming gesture and said "Buenos dias amigos!"

• What do you call a smiling black man? Snigger

• Q: Why are black people getting stronger?A: TV's are getting heavier

• A nigger was walking naked on the beach at the nudists. He’s got tattooed on his dick his wife’s name WENDY. Suddenly he sees a white guy with something written on his dick and asks him:You have written your wife name too?No, I’m responsible for the tourists. So when my dick is on erection it reads:”WELCOME TO MIAMI BEACH. HAVE A NICE DAY!”

• What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? The NBA

• What was so bad about being a black Jew? You had to sit in the back of the oven.

• Q: How long does it take a black lady to shit? A: 9 months.

• Q: Why do blacks have flat noses?A: That's where God put his foot when he pulled off their tails.

• Q. What do you call 300 white men chasing a black man? A. The PGA tour

• A white guy walks into a bar and asked a black guy for a bl*w job.The black guy beat him up and threw him out of the bar.The bartender then asked, "What did he say to you?The black guy responded I don't know all I heard is something about a job!!

• What is a nigger?Proof that skunks fuck monkeys.

• What did the black man do first time when they saw a ship?They stick they’re head in the water to see if it has wheels!

• What do you call a nigger in a tree with a briefcase?Branch manager.

• Q: How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: The lights out, how can u count them?

• Q: What do you call a white guy who needs to go somewhere across town but does not own an automobile?A: A taxi.

• Q: What do you call 50 blacks at the bottom of the ocean? A: A good start.

• Q: How can you tell a black person is lying? A: His lips are moving.

• Why are blacks afraid of lawn mowers?Because it goes run nigger nigger run.

• Q: What do u call 1,000 black people on a plane back to Africa? A: A good start.

• Q: What is the diffrence between a black guy and a pizza A: A pizza can feed a family of four.

• In South Africa a nigger was walking with a parrot on his shoulder and on his way he meets with a white guy.He is so cute! Does he speak? Asks the white guy.I don’t know I just bought him! Says the parrot.

• Why don't you hit a black kid on a bike?Because it's probably YOUR bike.

• Why don't sharks eat niggers?They think it's whale shit.

• Leeroy is talking to his parents about his problems:"Mummy, whenever I try to play with the white boys and girls, they always call me a nigger - why is that? "Well," replies his mum, "that's because you are black." "And mummy, why do the teachers shout at me and tell me to go away, but they are nice to the white boys and girls?" "Well," replies his mum, "that's because you are black." Then Leroy grins and says "Well, whenever I'm in the shower with the white boys I notice that my penis is much bigger than their penises." "Well," replies his mum, "that's because you are 37."

• Q: What is the most confusing day in Harlem?A: Father's Day.

• Q: Why are black ladies pocket books so big? A: They have to put their lipstick some where.

• Q: Why can't black kids play in the the sandbox?A: Because the cats keep covering them up.

• Have you ever seen a black person on the Jetsons?NO. Looks like a good future doesn’t it?