Age Jokes

• I grew a beard thinking it would say "Distinguished Gentleman." Instead, turns out it says, "Senior Discount, Please!"




• What goes up and never comes down? Your age!

• The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

• You're not old until a teenager describes you as middle-aged.

• Wine improves with age. I improve with wine.

• Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.

• At what age is it appropriate to tell my dog that he's adopted?

• A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.

• Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

• Aging gracefully is like the nice way of saying you're slowly looking worse.

• Transitional age is when during a hot day you don't know what you want – ice cream or beer.

• Few women admit their age; few men act it.

• The question isn't at what age I want to retire, it's at what income.

• Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun a lot more work.