Facebook Jokes

• I wonder what Facebook employees do to waste their time at work?




• Whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried to wipe their butt with an iPad.

• Google+ is the gym of social networking.We all join, but nobody actually uses it.

• If you need Facebook to remind you it's your wife's birthday, I hope you own a comfortable couch.

• Why is Facebook like Jail? "You have a profile picture, you sit around all day writing on walls, and you get poked by guys you don't really know!"

• I'm going to change my Facebook name to Benefits. Now, when someone adds me on Facebook, it will say: you are now friends with Benefits.

• Some people should consider having multiple Facebook accounts to go along with their multiple personalities.

• Boss comes up to an employee:Yesterday you did a great job - in one day you managed to do as much work, as you did in previous month!Thanks boss, that's because Facebook was shut down for the whole day.

• Guy comes up the hill, look up to the sky and yells, "God, I want to hear your opinion! Is Facebook harmful?"And response from heaven, "A moment, I just finish this status.."

• Someone figured out my password. Now I have to rename my dog.

• A new study found that more than 11 million people have quit Facebook in the last three years. And unfortunately, none of them were your parents.

• A Detroit-area woman who was removed from a jury for commenting about the ongoing case on Facebook has a longer writing task ahead: a five-page essay about the constitutional right to a fair trial. She responded, "Can I just get the answer from Wikipedia and send it to the inbox on your Facebook page instead?"

• I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be Nobody so when I see stupid crap people post, I can Like it. And it will say Nobody Likes This.

• Facebook is like a fridge.Even when u know there's nothing new going on, u still go on & check it every 10 minute.

• We love Facebook but we hate the face of book.

• Facebook is like a fridge, you keep checking it and nothing has changed.

• I hope the next ridiculously popular Facebook trend is shutting the fuck up.

• Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar movie collection except for one. he's never gonna give you Up

• Facebook is like a fridge.Every a few minutes you keep opening and closing it to see if there's anything good in it.

• A client calls to hotline of internet service provider:I have a problem, internet stopped working two days ago, neither I nor my son nor anyone else can access it now..I see, do you know what's the operating system on your PC?Of course I do - it's Facebook...

• A husband asks his very ill wife at the hospital:Tell me what is your last wish?Nothing more, I just want to check my status on Facebook.

• Anyone remember the good old days before Facebook, Instagram and Twitter?When you had to take a photo of your dinner, then get the film developed, then go around to all your friends' houses to show them the picture of your dinner?No?Me neither.

• Behind every successful student, there is a deactivated Facebook account.

• StatusI didn't fall down, I attacked the floor.