John is in Amsterdam and visits a nudist colony there.
While wandering around naked he sopts a gorgeous blonde and he immediately gets an erection. The woman notices his erection, comes over and says "Sir, did you call for me?"
John replies: "No!"
She says "Well, it's a rule here that if I give you an erection, it means you called for me."
She then layes him down and starts making love to him.
Later that day John visits the sauna, but as he sits down he farts. A huge big hairy guy get up, drops his towel to show a huge erection and says "Sir, did you call for me?"
John replies, "No!"
The man says, "It's a rule that when you fart, it implies you called for me." The man then knocks John to the floor and has his way with him.
As soon as he's finished John rushes back to his room, grabs all his things and heads for the exit. On his way out he's stopped by the manager he askes "Can I help you ?"
John says "Here's my room keys I'm leaving early"
The manager asks why and John replies "I'm 60 years old, I get an erection once a week but I fart 20 times a day !!"
The teacher walks into the room and says... "OK class todays word is DEFINITLY, can anyone use the word in a sentence."
Little Susie stands up and say "The sky is DEFINITLY blue."
The teacher says; "Not necisarrily Susie, it can be blue, gray, or black, but nice try."
Little Johnny is in the back of the room and is waving his hands back and forth.
The teacher says " Yes Johnny, What is it?"
Johnny says " I have a question."
OK lets hear it, says the teacher.
Johnny says "Do Farts have lumps?"
The teacher says, "Well no they don't."
Little Johnny says "Well then I DEFINITLY just shit my pants!!!"
One day a lady went into a fishing shop to buy her husband a fishing pole for his birthday.
She picked up a really nice looking pole and asked the salesman how much it was. The sales man says, "I am blind but if you give me the pole I can tell how much it is by the weight."
So the lady gives him the pole and he says, "That pole is worth $45." She was amazed at how cheap that was.
So then she picked up another really nice pole, hands it to the man and he says, "This pole is worth $55." she decided that was also really cheap.
And then she picks the nicest looking pole in the place and handed it to the man and he says, "This pole is our best and it is $70." she told him that she would take it.
As she was getting the fishing pole all rung up, she had to fart really really badly. She decided since the man was blind that it really wouldn't matter if she farted in front of him so she just let it loose.
All of a sudden the man says, "It all comes up to $80."
Confused the lady says to him, "But you said the fishing pole was only $70."
He said, "It is. Its $70 for the fishing pole and $10 for the duck call."
A guy goes to pick up his date for the evening. She's not ready yet, so he has to sit in the living room with her parents.
He has a bad case of gas and really needs to releive some pressure.
Luckly, the family dog jumps up on the couch next to him. He decides that he can let a little fart out and if anyone notices they will think that the dog did it.
He farts, and the woman yells, "Spot, get down from there."
The guy thinks, "Great, they think the dog did it." He releases another fart, and the woman again yells for the dog to get down.
This goes on for a couple more farts. Finally the woman yells, "Dammit Spot, get down before he shits on you."
A man and his wife have gone to bed. After laying there a few minutes the man farts and says, "Seven Points."
His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?"
The man replied, "It's fart football... I just scored."
A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says, "Touchdown, tie score."
After about five minutes the old man farts again and says, "Touchdown, I'm ahead 14 to 7."
Not to be out done the wife rips another one and says, "Touchdown, tie score."
Five seconds go by and she lets out a squeaker and says, "Field goal, I lead 17 to 14."
Now the pressure's on and the old man refuses to get beat by a woman so he strains real hard but to no avail.
Realizing a defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he has, but instead of farting, he poops the bed.
The wife looks and says, "What the heck was that?"
The man replied, "Half-time, Switch sides."
A guy goes to pick up his date for the evening. She's not ready yet, so he has to sit in the living room with her parents.
He has a bad case of gas and really needs to releive some pressure.
Luckly, the family dog jumps up on the couch next to him. He decides that he can let a little fart out and if anyone notices they will think that the dog did it.
He farts, and the woman yells, "Spot, get down from there."
The guy thinks, "Great, they think the dog did it." He releases another fart, and the woman again yells for the dog to get down.
This goes on for a couple more farts. Finally the woman yells, "Dammit Spot, get down before he shits on you."
Funny euphemisms people use for farts ...
Gravy Pants
Firing Scud Missiles
Turd Honking
Mud Duck
Panty Burps
Pant Stainers
Cut the Cheese
Trouser Cough
K-Fart
Crack Splitters
Turd Tooties
Anal Audio
Great Brown Cloud
Exercising the meat nozzle
Funny euphemisms people use for farts ...
Gravy Pants
Firing Scud Missiles
Turd Honking
Mud Duck
Panty Burps
Pant Stainers
Cut the Cheese
Trouser Cough
K-Fart
Crack Splitters
Turd Tooties
Anal Audio
Great Brown Cloud
Exercising the meat nozzle
The teacher walks into the room and says... "OK class todays word is DEFINITLY, can anyone use the word in a sentence."
Little Susie stands up and say "The sky is DEFINITLY blue."
The teacher says; "Not necisarrily Susie, it can be blue, gray, or black, but nice try."
Little Johnny is in the back of the room and is waving his hands back and forth.
The teacher says " Yes Johnny, What is it?"
Johnny says " I have a question."
OK lets hear it, says the teacher.
Johnny says "Do Farts have lumps?"
The teacher says, "Well no they don't."
Little Johnny says "Well then I DEFINITLY just shit my pants!!!"
There was three guys getting on a plane, the first one had a sandwich, the second one had a bag of peanuts and the third one had a bomb.
While they were up in the air the pilot said that the plane was too heavy and if it didn't get any weight off of it it was going to crash.
So the first guy drops his sandwich off, but still wasn't enough, so he jumped off and lived, when he got down he saw this little girl crying and crying and he asked what was the matter and she said that a sandwich hit her on the head, so he said he was sorry.
Meanwhile up in the plane it was still too heavy so the second guy dropped his bag of peanuts off, but it still wasn't enough so he jumped off and lived, when he got down there he saw this little girl crying and crying, so he asked what was the matter and she said that a bag of peanuts hit her on the head, so he said he was sorry.
Meanwhile up in the plane it was still too heavy so the third guy dropped his bomb off but it still was too heavy so he jumped off and lived when he got down there he saw this little boy laughing and laughing and he asked the little boy what was so funny and he said I farted and a building blew up!!
A Mexican, an American, and a Pollock are all in an airplane Flying over Mexico.
The Mexican drops a pear on his country.
When the American asks why he says he loves his country.
Then they're flying over the US and the American drops an apple.
When the Pollock asks why he says because he loves his country.
Then they're flying over the Pollock's country and the Pollock drops a bomb.
When the American and the Mexican ask why he says because he hates his country.
A while later the Mexican is walking the streets and he sees a boy who is crying.
He asks why and the boy says because a pear fell out of the sky and hit him on the head.
The American is walking the streets and he sees a little girl crying.
When he asks her why she says because an apple fell out of the sky and hit her on the head.
The Pollock is walking the streets and he comes to a man that is laughing.
When he asks him why the man says, "Because I farted and the building behind me blew up!"
A man and his wife have gone to bed. After laying there a few minutes the man farts and says, "Seven Points."
His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?"
The man replied, "It's fart football... I just scored."
A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says, "Touchdown, tie score."
After about five minutes the old man farts again and says, "Touchdown, I'm ahead 14 to 7."
Not to be out done the wife rips another one and says, "Touchdown, tie score."
Five seconds go by and she lets out a squeaker and says, "Field goal, I lead 17 to 14."
Now the pressure's on and the old man refuses to get beat by a woman so he strains real hard but to no avail.
Realizing a defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he has, but instead of farting, he poops the bed.
The wife looks and says, "What the heck was that?"
The man replied, "Half-time, Switch sides."
A Mexican, an American, and a Pollock are all in an airplane Flying over Mexico.
The Mexican drops a pear on his country.
When the American asks why he says he loves his country.
Then they're flying over the US and the American drops an apple.
When the Pollock asks why he says because he loves his country.
Then they're flying over the Pollock's country and the Pollock drops a bomb.
When the American and the Mexican ask why he says because he hates his country.
A while later the Mexican is walking the streets and he sees a boy who is crying.
He asks why and the boy says because a pear fell out of the sky and hit him on the head.
The American is walking the streets and he sees a little girl crying.
When he asks her why she says because an apple fell out of the sky and hit her on the head.
The Pollock is walking the streets and he comes to a man that is laughing.
When he asks him why the man says, "Because I farted and the building behind me blew up!"
John is in Amsterdam and visits a nudist colony there.
While wandering around naked he sopts a gorgeous blonde and he immediately gets an erection. The woman notices his erection, comes over and says "Sir, did you call for me?"
John replies: "No!"
She says "Well, it's a rule here that if I give you an erection, it means you called for me."
She then layes him down and starts making love to him.
Later that day John visits the sauna, but as he sits down he farts. A huge big hairy guy get up, drops his towel to show a huge erection and says "Sir, did you call for me?"
John replies, "No!"
The man says, "It's a rule that when you fart, it implies you called for me." The man then knocks John to the floor and has his way with him.
As soon as he's finished John rushes back to his room, grabs all his things and heads for the exit. On his way out he's stopped by the manager he askes "Can I help you ?"
John says "Here's my room keys I'm leaving early"
The manager asks why and John replies "I'm 60 years old, I get an erection once a week but I fart 20 times a day !!"
There was three guys getting on a plane, the first one had a sandwich, the second one had a bag of peanuts and the third one had a bomb.
While they were up in the air the pilot said that the plane was too heavy and if it didn't get any weight off of it it was going to crash.
So the first guy drops his sandwich off, but still wasn't enough, so he jumped off and lived, when he got down he saw this little girl crying and crying and he asked what was the matter and she said that a sandwich hit her on the head, so he said he was sorry.
Meanwhile up in the plane it was still too heavy so the second guy dropped his bag of peanuts off, but it still wasn't enough so he jumped off and lived, when he got down there he saw this little girl crying and crying, so he asked what was the matter and she said that a bag of peanuts hit her on the head, so he said he was sorry.
Meanwhile up in the plane it was still too heavy so the third guy dropped his bomb off but it still was too heavy so he jumped off and lived when he got down there he saw this little boy laughing and laughing and he asked the little boy what was so funny and he said I farted and a building blew up!!
One day a lady went into a fishing shop to buy her husband a fishing pole for his birthday.
She picked up a really nice looking pole and asked the salesman how much it was. The sales man says, "I am blind but if you give me the pole I can tell how much it is by the weight."
So the lady gives him the pole and he says, "That pole is worth $45." She was amazed at how cheap that was.
So then she picked up another really nice pole, hands it to the man and he says, "This pole is worth $55." she decided that was also really cheap.
And then she picks the nicest looking pole in the place and handed it to the man and he says, "This pole is our best and it is $70." she told him that she would take it.
As she was getting the fishing pole all rung up, she had to fart really really badly. She decided since the man was blind that it really wouldn't matter if she farted in front of him so she just let it loose.
All of a sudden the man says, "It all comes up to $80."
Confused the lady says to him, "But you said the fishing pole was only $70."
He said, "It is. Its $70 for the fishing pole and $10 for the duck call."
Thursday, 3 March 2016
Fart Jokes
About Kannnadasan -
Author Description here.. Nulla sagittis convallis. Curabitur consequat. Quisque metus enim, venenatis fermentum, mollis in, porta et, nibh. Duis vulputate elit in elit. Mauris dictum libero id justo.