Fighting Jokes

• My wife and I had a two-hour fight about whether or not we were fighting.




• Love's a lot like a bullet in that the exit usually causes the most damage.

• Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.

• Me: let's go this way. Shopping cart: no.

• Join The Army, visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.

• I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

• Waking up this morning was an eye-opening experience.

• He may have a nice car but I have a fast sleigh

• Best friends: Ready to die for each other, but will fight to the death over the last slice of pizza.

• America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote.

• The problem with trouble shooting is that trouble shoots back.

• Why don't the enemies of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles just flip them on their backs?

• War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

• I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."

• Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.

• When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.