Success Jokes

• Behind every successful student, there is a deactivated Facebook account.




• I'm good at multitasking and procrastinating, which means right now there are at least 28 things that I'm putting off until later.

• Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

• How do construction workers party? they raise the roof.

• Being a hypochondriac is going to save my life one of these days

• Identity theft is the most diabolical way someone can compliment you on doing a good job at life.

• If at first you don't succeed, we have a lot in common.

• The road to success is always under construction.

• Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

• There are few things I enjoy more than picking an argument with my girlfriend when she has the hiccups.

• A successful man is one who makes more money that his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

• Currently the flower business is blooming.

• Do I know you? Cause you look a lot like my next girlfriend.

• I accidentally took an extra step when I reached the top of the stairs and now I'm in a marching band.

• Five Secrets of Successful People:1. Don't 2. Tell 3. Anyone 4. Your 5. Secrets

• Secret to success is to know who to blame for your failures.

• There are two rules for success: 1) Don't tell all you know.

• Success is like pregnancy. Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you got fucked to achieve it.